Project 31: Day 28

"Write about your insecurities as a woman."

Many of my insecurities as a woman stem from a voice whispering your not enough. The problem with this lie is that it takes many forms and throughout my life I have experienced them all.

You're not smart enough.

You're not pretty enough.

You're not good enough.

You're not talented enough.

But thankfully, I serve a God who is MORE than enough. In reality, I am human. I fail. I don't always measure up to what is expected of me. And that is okay. It is okay because of Christ's grace.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Honestly,being "not enough" is very true of me. God has called me to many things, that in my own power and my own strength, I am too weak and completely incapable. Yet, the beautiful part of all this is that God uses a weak individual to reveal Himself to others. Now, the "not enough" is a lie because Christ lives inside me and HE makes me more than enough.

Project 31: Day 27

Day 27.  Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!

This is my dear friend Mallory. We are a little crazy & love to have fun.

Lately Mal has been such a source of wisdom and encouragement for me. She is a first year PreK teacher and wife of a youth minister and is awesome at them both! God has gifted her in so many ways and she glorifies Him by doing her very best in everything she does. I am so thankful to have her as a friend. Thank you for answering my 1,000 teaching questions! I love you and am very proud to be your friend!

Project 31: Day 26.

Day 26.  What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?

That I loved and served the Lord with all of my heart, soul, and strength.

That I boldly and courageously followed Him where ever He called me.

That I was a woman of prayer.

That I loved and served their grandfather to the end of my days.

That my life was marked by the wonders of God and joy that only comes from the Lord.

That I cared and loved for all people. 

That I was beautiful, not because of my appearance, but because of the transformation Christ brought about in me. 

Get yo comfy on.

Day 25.  Style 31.  Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.

This is my favorite t-shirt to sleep/lounge in. I got it from one of the youth camps Scott spoke at this past summer. It is very thin and soft, I love it. Living in an open loft where my husband does not allow the thermostat to go above 60 during the day and 57 at night, comfort to me = staying warm. (You better believe I turn that bad boy up to 62 as soon as Scott leaves.) This winter I have worn a lot of layers, flannel, and socks. If I could wear sweat pants and t-shirts everyday, I would. I love me some comfy clothes.

Nothing will be impossible for you.

Day 24.  What is Jesus teaching you presently?

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26

So, I skipped day 23 mainly because I feel like I have answered the question throughout the course of the project and partly because I really didn't want to do it.

So here we go!

Many, many times in my life I have felt inadequate to do what God has called me to do. This feeling was most intense when Scott and I decided to plant a church in Chicago. 


Some of the thoughts that raced through my head included:
-I am too young.
-I don't share many common interests with the people we will be ministering too. 
-I am going to be way out of my element.
-We haven't been married very long.
-We both have biblical studies degrees, how are we going to make a living?
-I hate cold weather!


In many ways I felt like the least like candidate for the job. Yet during this time this is the scripture I had been reading:


The Lord turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?" "But Lord," Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family." "The Lord answered, " I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together." Judges 6: 14-16


Gideon goes on to defeat the Midianites. Yet, not with the original 32,000 men. The Lord ordered Gideon to send all but 300 men home. Why? Because it is not about the strength of men, but the power & glory of our almighty God. See, God uses the weak, the ill-equipped, and plain to accomplish His plans. Using our un-impressive lives show how wondrous & impressive He is. He works through us as broken people to show that all the glory & honor belong to Him. We also realize that it is crucial to depend on the Lord's guidance and strength every step of the way.


I am in my first semester of grad school as well as getting my teaching certificate. After this first semester, I am eligible to start sending my resume out for teaching positions. Although the chances of me getting a job are slim, this has been a scary thought for me. I have not felt prepared or adequate to be a teacher quite yet. As I have been praying for direction from the Lord, I read this verse in Acts 4 last week:


"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus."


I need more confidence. Not in myself, but in the Holy Spirit that lives in me. God's plan for me may be that I will not become a teacher until later on, or it may be that I will be in a classroom next Fall. Whatever His plan is, I must be obedient, and confident that he is going to supply me with everything I need in order to glorify Him. See, no task is too big or to hard to accomplish with the power of God living inside of us as believers. Whatever the Lord is calling you to do: be obedient, have confidence, and depend fully on his strength. For if we have "faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20)

Project 31: Day 22.

Day 22.  What are some needs that need to be met in your community?  Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.

"Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work." -Mother Teresa


Scott and I have been in a season of prayer and brainstorming directly related to this question. Last weekend we discussed our visions, ideas, and dreams we feel like the Lord has been laying on our hearts to carry out here in Wicker Park. It was such an exciting time as we shared and prayed over the long list of things we are asking direction on from Christ. 


Since moving here in September, I feel like the first part of our journey has been a great learning experience. We have learned what makes our community tick, met a lot of people, and seen lots of needs of the people. We have already been given many opportunities to get involved in Wicker Park by serving in the school, working/cleaning in the park, and simply loving on those around us. As of two weeks ago Scott has also become the Vice President of the Wicker Park Advisory Council which we  are excited to see the avenues this will open up for our church to serve here.

Although we have a list of 13 ideas we are praying through right now as we continue to listen to the Lord's voice, we have noticed two major needs in our community that we know Christ desires us to move to action. One being homelessness and the other being nursing home living.

We have many, many homeless people in Wicker Park which is common throughout the whole city of Chicago. Many of these people live in the park during the warmer seasons and we see them regularly. As Scott and I came together we both felt the Lord was speaking to us on this same issue. Earlier this week I had been reading James and this passage particularly tugged at my heart:

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.                                                   James 2:14-17

Our desire as a church is to invest in the lives of the people in our neighborhood ministering to the whole person. We have a big vision to help them get on their feet and become productive members of society. This is something that is way over our heads at this point of our journey, but we are looking for ways to partner with existing organization already in our city. Many people need rehab, job training, education, etc. The needs of the homeless community are very diverse. They need more than just a hand out, they need life transformation. We also desire to build relationships with them and love them. We want them to know they are valuable and loved in God's sight and to be reconciled to Him. Right now we are praying through having a weekly gathering in the park this summer serving pancakes as we build relationships with them as well as discuss God's word. We can't wait to see what God has in store for His people.

We also have two assisted living/nursing homes in our neighborhood. Many times these can be very lonely places for people in their final stages of life. Scott is planning on meeting with the management of these two buildings to see possible ways we can love and serve them. We know that Christ has great plans for our community and we feel so blessed to be able to be a small part of that. Walking with the Lord is so, so good.

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."  -Mother Teresa

Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him

"Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." Ruth 1:16

Scott,

I cannot express how proud I am to be your wife. I thank/praise God daily for the gift of you. I have had the privilege of watching you grow and mature in the Lord which has encouraged and challenged me in my own walk. Since moving to Chicago, I have noticed this growth more than ever before and know it is Christ in you.

I have seen your compassion and love for people. Your heart's true desire is for people to experience the goodness of Jesus and to know life in Him. You are dedicated and willing to do whatever God calls you to fulfill this calling on your life. You are the aroma of Christ as you freeze your tail off at the dog park, garden in the Park, and work playground patrol at the school. (the only male, non-parent :) ) You inspire me.

You dream big. You receive a vision from the Lord and you go for it. I love this about you. You do not keep God in box, but realize his power, bigness, and majesty. Therefore, you do things that may seem abnormal or do not make the most practical sense and this to me, is beautiful. I know that our lives may not always be easy, but it will be an adventure as we surrender it to the Lord. 

You have a servant's heart. You have taken such good care of me as we have moved to this big city! Your acts of service whether it be cooking dinner, taking Selah out, driving me to school, and all the others have meant the world to me. I love feeling like we are a team, understanding that we will do whatever it takes to help one another pursue God's calling on our lives individually and as a family.

Thank you for loving me when I am unloveable, always making me feel beautiful, encouraging & rebuking me with God's word, making me laugh, and encouraging me to pursue Christ with all of my heart, mind, and strength.

I am so thankful God chose us to walk this journey together.

I love you,

Your Wife

"Everybody's Workin for the Weekend"

Day 20.  Write about your job and why you love it or hate it. 

Since September, I have been blessed with the opportunity of working at Childtime Learning Center teaching two-year-olds. I was very thankful to be offered a job after living in Chicago for only a couple of weeks. I have always loved working with children, but the past two years I realized that I especially love working with preschool aged children. My favorite being the 2's and 3's. With that being said, I really like my job. I wake up every morning with the opportunity to love, teach, and help mold 18 precious kiddos, most of who spend more of their waking hours with us than their parents. And not only am I molding them, but they are molding me. They have taught me a lot about patience, love, and influence (they watch your every action & listen to every word). I also enjoy the relationships that have been formed between my co-workers and I. I work with many sweet, gifted ladies whose love for children is very evident. All in all, though working with 2's can be very challenging and tiring, it is also equally rewarding! 

"Get in My Belly"

Day 19.  Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)

This post has the potential to be ridiculously long so I have narrowed it down to some of my consistent favorite cravings, which I crave way too often.

Give me a bean burrito, a taco, and chicken soft taco and you just made a lifelong friend.

I love me some DP and I like it fountain style. 

Also, nothing beats Dublin Dr. Pepper. 

Oh, Texas how I miss thee.

Fav Candy.

Although the sausage in this picture looks a little questionable, I could eat breakfast food for every meal, everyday, for the rest of my life. (Yes, sometimes I enjoy being dramatic.) So now that I am gnawing on my arm, I should probably get up and eat something.

"Cause you've got personality"

Day 18.  Describe your personality.

In an attempt for this post not to sound like a personal ad, I asked my husband to list off some adjectives that describe my personality. Who knows me better, right? Right. 

His Response:

Beautiful, Loyal, Funny/Fun-Loving, Compassionate, Friendly, Crazy, People-Pleaser, Worrier, Procrastinator, Prideful, Gentle, Transparent, Hard Worker, Sacrificial 

(Real sneaky trying to cover up all the negative attributes in the middle.) :)

I believe he knows me pretty well, a little too well.

Praise God he still loves me. :)

Happy as a Lark

Day 17.  Write about 3 things that make you happy.

Just three? But, I can think of so many more.

1. Redbox. Some of my happiest moments are watching movies cuddled up on my couch.

2. Reading while sippin' on some hot tea.

3. Receiving mail.

Beauty that Never Fades

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."

1 Peter 3: 3-4

This morning the Lord reminded me what beauty is in His sight. 

Project 31: Days 12-14.

Woah. I got a little behind on Project 31. This is my catch-up attempt so it will be pretty brief.

Day 12:

Write about what wears you out as a woman.

Hair & make up, day after day after day. 

&

Shaving my legs. 

Day 13:

Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

More patience.

Not worrying about what other people think of me.

Less self-consumed.

Day 14:

Style 31.  Post an outfit pic!

Halloween 2009. I was a garden gnome.

JK.

Um, let's see. I am no fashionista, but some of my favorite things in my wardrobe include:

Plaid Button Up Shirts

Scarfs

V-necks

Sweaters

Day 11: Baked Ziti.

Post a recipe.

This is one of mine and Scott's favs. It is really easy and it makes a lot. We usually cut the recipe in half. 

Ingredients

• 1 pound dry ziti pasta
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 pound lean ground beef
• 2 (26 ounce) jars spaghetti sauce
• 6 ounces provolone cheese, sliced
• 1 1/2 cups sour cream
• 6 ounces mozzarella cheese, shredded
• 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add ziti pasta, and cook until al dente, about 8 minutes; drain.
2. In a large skillet, brown onion and ground beef over medium heat. Add spaghetti sauce, and simmer 15 minutes.
3. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Butter a 9x13 inch baking dish. Layer as follows: 1/2 of the ziti, Provolone cheese, sour cream, 1/2 sauce mixture, remaining ziti, mozzarella cheese and remaining sauce mixture. Top with grated Parmesan cheese.
4. Bake for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until cheeses are melted.

Project 31: Day 10.

Day 10.  What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)

Photo from: www.weheartit.com

The big overarching theme of what Jesus has been teaching me lately has implications for all of my relationships. Jesus is always moving, always speaking to us, so why do I not hear Him at times? One, because I am not paying attention. Two, because my life is too loud/busy. I have been learning that I need to quiet & slow down in order to hear what the Lord is trying to speak into mine and other's lives. My absolute favorite moments of my day are in the mornings. They are quiet (when the "el" is not passing by) and distraction free. I am able to read, pray, worship and have an intimate time with the Lord. Yet, throughout the day I begin to lose that focus and when I come home from a long day I relax through media. I do not want to devote just one part of my day to hearing the Lord speak, but I want to listen and communicate with Him at all times.

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." 

Revelation: 3: 20

Lord, help me to quiet my life to where I can hear your voice. I do not want to miss one opportunity to dine with you. 

Virtues.

Day 9.  What virtues do you value in yourself?

Well, let's start off with this, I am inherently a selfish, prideful person. Any virtues that can be seen in me is not of my own doing, but of how Christ has changed me. I strive to be a woman that lives by the Spirit and far too often I fall short of that. Yet, when I am focused on Christ, listening to His voice and spending time with Him, I see His Spirit manifesting in me. I become less selfish and begin to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit. This does not happen over night, this is a life long process in which I will continually be transformed into the image of Christ. Again, anything that is good in me is not Ashley, but Christ in Ashley and all I do is place myself in relationship with Him.

Beauty Secret.

Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)?  Share, please!

I do not have many beauty secrets. In fact, I could only think of one and its a little grandma-ish, but whatev. Since living in Chicago, I have had really dry skin. But I haven't been walking around with ashy arms and legs, I have found a solution. Instead of using a regular bar of soap, I have started using the Dove Deep Moisture (mainly b/c I had a coupon) it has worked wonderfully! :)

Then following my shower I use Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream. My dermatologist recommends creams over lotions because it hydrates the skin better. So no more ashy skin. :)

Project 31: Day 7.

So, I got a little behind these last couple of days. Here is my Wednesday post:

Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.

I am going to write a blog that includes two beautiful women, my wonderful frans, Bethany & Lauren.

These two have brought so much laughter, strengthen, and encouragement into my life. They both share some awesome traits that make them very beautiful people:

-They are always thinking of other people. I have received countless cards & words of encouragement that seem to come at exactly the right time. Above that they have devoted their lives to helping & loving other people. (Lauren is studying to become a nurse & Beth is a youth girls minister)

Beth

-They love living life to the fullest and have a sense of adventure. Some of the most hilarious moments of my life have come from experiencing these adventures together.

Lauren 

-They love Jesus and spend their lives pursuing him and it shines through in what they do. Thank you for being awesome friends and inspiring women! I miss you both!

Jaded Beauty.

How has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?

It has left me feeling inadequate, insecure, and unworthy. The world defines beauty by outward appearances and many times I felt I did not fit the mold deemed beautiful. Yet as stated before, each of us are created uniquely and were not designed to fit a certain criteria. The challenge for me at times, comes in breaking the idea of the mold and embracing everlasting beauty.

"The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever."

1 John 2:17

Although I have many times felt jaded by the world's definition of beauty I want to strive for beauty that does not pass away, but is eternal. 

Project 31: Day 5

Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.

My husband. Why? Because he is awesome.

Here are a few reasons why:

He plays Mario Kart & Scrabble with me.

He understands me.

He loves Jesus and helps me to love him more too.

He cooks a mean omelet.

He challenges me.

He has the most hilarious dance moves.

He is a passionate dreamer.

He loves and serves people.

He makes me laugh. A lot.

I am so thankful for this man. Life is so much fun and alive with him.