Two Years.

On Monday, Scott & I will be celebrating two awesome years of marriage. I seriously cannot believe it has been that long. I am truly blessed & so very thankful to the Lord for bringing us together and being a constant presence throughout our journey. Marriage is something that is constantly growing & changing me and as I reminiscence on our second year Christ has revealed these things to me:

• Never base decisions on the potential stress it could cause your marriage, but only in obedience to God's leading. There have been two callings on our lives specifically, when I remember thinking: I hope this does not cause stress on our relationship. One of those times was when after six months of marriage, God brought three kids ages 9,12 & 14 to live with us. The other was when we surrendered to Christ's leading to Chicago. These decisions could have indeed caused a lot of stress on a newlywed couple, or any couple for that matter, but when Christ calls a couple to something it actually unifies and strengthens the bond between them. 
• One of my favorite things about marriage is that it is a team effort. I believe Scott & I both have individual ministries & callings as well as a unified calling. Right now I am pursuing getting my teaching certificate & working full time to allow for Scott to have more time & energy for the church plant. We have had some what of a role reversal in our home and I love how we can work together as one to allow for each other to pursue what God wants us to individually & as a couple.
• Marriage is a beautiful thing. I was reminded of this while watching Meet Joe Black the other night:

Joe Black: ......But Allison loves you?

Quince: Quince nods yes.

Joe Black: How do you know?

Quince: Because she knows the worst things about me and it's ok.

Through Scott God has shown me a piece of his tangible love. Scott knows the worst things about      me, all of my failures & imperfections and yet it is ok, he still loves me. I praise God for that! Thank you Lord for two wonderful years and for a partner to walk through this life with serving you! 

The Beauty in Letting Go

One great piece of marriage advice came from a 70+ year old woman who had been married close to fifty years. She advised me along with a group of church planter's wives to, "lay our husbands on the alter before the Lord." She meant for us to commit to the Lord to not hold our husbands back from anything Christ has called them to do. She warned that it will involve many sacrifices as she had spent many weeks raising her children on her own while her husband was away. She assured that there would be financial sacrifices involved. Yet, she reminded us that the stretching process will bring growth & joy in the Lord.

Later that afternoon I committed before the Lord & Scott to support and encourage him in anything that the Lord was leading him to do. When I stand before our precious Lord one day, I want to be able to say I released Scott to be used for His Kingdom and to be able to witness the fruit of this decision. I am encouraged, challenged, and grateful for women who have done this and are doing this now, whether it be husbands serving abroad, traveling, or any other circumstance God has called them to. I believe we will all see the eternal purpose one day and that the Kingdom will benefit.

I write this now with a thankful and joyful heart to the Lord who takes such good care of me. When surrendering Scott to the Lord (letting go of what was truly His in the first place) I worried about his safety, the lonely nights ahead, the potential strain on our relationship, and being all alone in this great big city. Yet, I have experienced quite the contrary. I have come to understand deeper the quality of God as my Father who takes care of his daughter. He has put us in an apartment where I feel secure being alone. We have been blessed by meeting some wonderful and trustworthy people I know I can call if ever needed. The nights that Scott are away remind me that God is using us for His purposes and I am blessed to be a part of it. 

"Sacred Marriage"

Lately the Lord has been teaching me what it means to "die to oneself" in the context of relationships. I have just finished reading Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and highly recommend it to any married or engaged couple. The tagline of this book reads, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" While marriage is a very fun, joyous, wonderful union, it has its ups and downs like any intimate relationship. Marriage is a perfect place to grow in character to become more Christ-like.

I have learned more about myself in the year and a half I have been married than maybe my whole life. I have learned what my true character qualities are. I used to think of myself as a patient person but realized I was patient only when it was easy. There have been many discoveries Scott and I have both had because living with someone day after day at times tests your character. Yet, Thomas challenges readers to use these discoveries to die to ourselves and become more like Jesus Christ, serving and loving our spouse more than ourselves. Regardless of our spouses' actions, words, or certain annoying habits, we can grow in our character and relationship with Christ. Thomas even shares stories implying the more difficult the spouse, the greater the growth in your own life. 

Through marriage I have experienced a tangible piece of the love of God. There have been times when I have wronged Scott and have been extended the hand of grace. I have better understood God's faithfulness by Scott pledging to stay by my side no matter what our future holds. Thomas believes that our marriages is a testimony to the world of God's story of reconciliation between Him and sinful man. I know that I have experienced God at a deeper level through this journey and my prayer is that others would see God's love and grace through Scott and I as one.

Thomas ends the book in a challenge for couples who follow Christ to become what he calls a "couple-saint" "No longer defining their relationship to God in solitary terms, but working together to present themselves as a holy unit, a pair of cherubim in the middle of whom God's presence is radically enlivened." What a beautiful picture of love. It is not some magical feeling 24/7 (though feelings are there also) but a decision to love one's spouse through easy and difficult times, pledging to never leave, always to reconcile and most importantly help each other on the journey to grow in Christ. Christ's definition and expectations of marriage are not always easy, but with the help of His Spirit it creates the most beautiful, heavenly, and fruitful union. Thank you Lord for marriage.

Also check out the video I posted below. I first heard it while I was reading Sacred Marriage. :)

"Blessed"

Ladies, be jealous.

Venable, stay humble. :)

Since our recent move Scott and I have had a bit of a role reversal. I am now working full time and Scott has a more fluid, flexible schedule. Let me just say that my husband is incredible. He has completely stepped up to the plate in every way. I have been so thankful to come home to dinner ready EVERY night and a clean house EVERY Friday. His servant's heart has been revealed to me on a deeper level which has been very encouraging and challenging.

As followers of Christ our lives are to be marked by selfless love and service to others. "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45) Yet many times I am guilty of getting so consumed with myself that I do not open my eyes to the needs of others. I am guilty of serving when it is convenient and easy and not so much when it involves sacrifice.

Our flesh and society tell us to gain for ourselves, do what makes us feel good and what makes us comfortable because that will bring happiness and satisfaction. Yet this view is in opposition to Jesus' life and teachings. Although Jesus had every right to come to this earth to be served, worshipped, and exalted he served selflessly to the point of death on the cross. He modeled humility and submission to God perfectly.

"When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." (John 13:12-17)


In spite of how the world defines "blessed", true blessedness comes from a life of submission to Christ and service to others. It opposes the value system of our culture and society. It requires letting God rid of us of our pride, laziness, and comfort. Though this is contrary to what we hear in our culture, it is the process that one finds true freedom and satisfaction. Freedom from consumption of self and the sin nature. It allows one to experience the joy and fulfillment that comes with walking with Christ.

So, thank you Scott for revealing to me a glimpse of our Father's heart of selfless love and service. Father, I praise you for coming to serve man to the point of death. Thank you for the redemption and renewal of my soul that was made possible by your sacrifice. Through your spirit alive in me, help me to serve and love others as you do.

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge in the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love."

"What God has joined together, let man not separate."

Over lunch with one of my best friends and her mother, I was asked what advice I would give to an engaged couple after experiencing my first year of marriage. Off the top of my head I could only think of a few things but over the next couple of weeks more things began to come to mind. In honor of our one year anniversary coming up :) I have compiled a list!

• Pray together often. We have found that communication with our Heavenly Father have been some of the most intimate times in our relationship. Nothing binds a marriage together in Christ as listening to each other's hearts completely vulnerable with each other and the Lord. Presenting requests, petitions, and praises before our great God has been some of my most cherished memories in our first year of marriage.

• Ground your identity, value, and worth in Christ alone. Your spouse was not designed and is not able to fill your deepest desires and longings. Only Christ can give us complete satisfaction and worth. It is not fair to your spouse to put those kind of expectations on him/her and it will only cause conflict. Give thanks for the blessing, but alway worship the blesser.

• Have fun, laugh often and do something adventurous!

• Serve and love them regardless of moods or feelings. It is easy to see one's depravity in marriage. You learn so much about yourself and many times it will show just how selfish and prideful you are. I believe a key to a Godly marriage is to allow Christ to change and sanctify you rather than hold on to your own selfish desires. Serving and loving your spouse even when you feel like he/she does not deserve it is following the example of Christ and is a true blessing in the end.

Of course just because these are lessons learned does not mean they are lesson perfected by any means! Yet as Paul writes in his final greeting to the Corinthians, "aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you."

Marriage has been the greatest blessing. It has had many wonderful, fun times. And it has had fewer less fun times. It has been the greatest process of discipleship I have ever experienced and will continue to experience. It has taught me to love less selfishly and brought me into a deeper, richer relationship with my Lord. I have enjoyed every minute of it!