Over lunch with one of my best friends and her mother, I was asked what advice I would give to an engaged couple after experiencing my first year of marriage. Off the top of my head I could only think of a few things but over the next couple of weeks more things began to come to mind. In honor of our one year anniversary coming up :) I have compiled a list!
- Pray together often. We have found that communication with our Heavenly Father have been some of the most intimate times in our relationship. Nothing binds a marriage together in Christ as listening to each other's hearts completely vulnerable with each other and the Lord. Presenting requests, petitions, and praises before our great God has been some of my most cherished memories in our first year of marriage.
- Ground your identity, value, and worth in Christ alone. Your spouse was not designed and is not able to fill your deepest desires and longings. Only Christ can give us complete satisfaction and worth. It is not fair to your spouse to put those kind of expectations on him/her and it will only cause conflict. Give thanks for the blessing, but alway worship the blesser.
- Have fun, laugh often and do something adventurous!
- Serve and love them regardless of moods or feelings. It is easy to see one's depravity in marriage. You learn so much about yourself and many times it will show just how selfish and prideful you are. I believe a key to a Godly marriage is to allow Christ to change and sanctify you rather than hold on to your own selfish desires. Serving and loving your spouse even when you feel like he/she does not deserve it is following the example of Christ and is a true blessing in the end.
Of course just because these are lessons learned does not mean they are lesson perfected by any means! Yet as Paul writes in his final greeting to the Corinthians, "aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you."
Marriage has been the greatest blessing. It has had many wonderful, fun times. And it has had fewer less fun times. It has been the greatest process of discipleship I have ever experienced and will continue to experience. It has taught me to love less selfishly and brought me into a deeper, richer relationship with my Lord. I have enjoyed every minute of it!
